Well, That Was Weird....

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Despite going to bed around 11PM last night, I still managed to drag myself out of bed by 7:30 this morning.  I guess my body is finally starting to adjust, and realizes that 7-8 hours of sleep is all I need each night.  Which is all I'm supposed to need.  And that's good.

It's almost 9AM here in my neck of the woods and all of my laundry is either in the washer or the dryer.  I'm making it a plan to have it all completely folded and put away by 11 this morning.  That would be something I haven't done in a very long time.  Man, I hate laundry.  But, then I'll have Jelly's laundry to take care of...and that's even worse than mine.  Because her stuff is so small, and it requires a lot of folding and not as much hanging.

Anywho, reading about my laundry tales surely isn't how you want to spend your time if you're here on my blog, right?

So, let's talk about how I felt yesterday not taking my pill.

If you missed the scoop, yesterday, I announced that because I wasn't really feeling any effects of my pill.. I was going to take myself off of them for two days and start back up on Monday.  

Coming off the pill on the weekends is probably not the smartest idea.  During the week, while I'm busy working, eating is really the last thing I'm thinking about.  There's more important things to take care of... like keeping 20 kids focused on their work, grading papers, entering grades, and wading through the piles of paperwork that seem to appear out of nowhere each and EVERY day.

On the weekends, I don't have as much to occupy my thoughts.  Boredom sometimes takes over.  Boredom leads to eating.  I don't necessarily have to be bored.  I could be perfectly content watching a movie, reading a book, sitting in front of my computer...and the same feeling starts to lure its head:  I need food.

I knew all of this going in, yet I figured I'd throw caution to the wind and see how I did.

My day got started the way it usually does...coffee on the patio.  I opted for a second cup, being that I've already told myself that on the weekends, I'll splurge for 2 cups of coffee in the morning instead of the one cup I've programmed myself to drink during the week.  And after my 2 cups, I was done.  I didn't want anymore.  Shortly there after, the family got ready to head out for our weekly grocery shopping adventure.  

As I perused aisles and aisles of food for breakfasts, lunches, snacks, and dinners, I noticed I wasn't feeling any urges to eat anything.  I wasn't tempted to sneak a little something extra in to the cart that wasn't on our list.  I kept my head focused on the stuff I'd be taking for lunches each day.  I had already decided to add some fruit and veggies in to the mix each day.  I picked up some baby carrots, cucumber, and peaches.  Something different than what I've been taking.  I grabbed my morning yogurts.  I picked out my baked crackers.  And all the while, completely focused on the task at hand.

I did goof up, however.  I was so focused on grocery shopping, I completely missed lunch.  A big no-no.  We got home around 3PM and I realized I hadn't taken the time to eat anything for lunch.  I just knew I was going to regret it once dinner time rolled around.  It was too late to actually eat lunch, so I quickly dug out my crackers and had a snack.  Hoping that it would take care of overeating at dinner time.

Two hours later, dinner was ready.  We were eating baked chicken breast, cornbread stuffing, green beans, and gravy.  I took two small pieces of chicken breast (they were the thin, tenderloin cuts), a scoop of stuffing, and a couple spoonfuls of the green beans.  I looked at my plate, knowing I had served myself the adequate required portion sizes of everything... but had a niggling feeling I wasn't going to be satisfied after eating such a small helping.  Especially seeing that there was food left over after everyone else had received their food.  I sat down and I ate.

When I was finished, I felt full.  Even though I hadn't eaten lunch, and had only eaten a handful of crackers since early that morning, my small plate of food had left me feeling satisfied.  I didn't need or want anymore.  

That was weird.  But, not even the weirdest part.

After dinner, I took the kids out to swim.  They played in the pool for over an hour...enjoying the fact that they haven't been able to get in the pool for a couple of weeks due to the very unseasonable temperatures we've been having.  Around 7:30PM, I decided it was time to go inside.  When everyone was dressed, Hubby suggested we all sit down and watch a movie.

And we did.

And throughout the entire movie, not ONCE did I get the urge to go and grab a snack from the kitchen or find something to nibble on while watching.  I didn't even have to talk myself out of doing it, because it didn't even cross my mind the whole time.  It wasn't until after the movie was over that realization had hit that I had sat for almost 2 hours watching a movie...and didn't eat a single thing, nor wanted to eat a single thing the whole time.

Not just weird.. but downright CRAZY!

I am the person that could eat dinner, put a movie on right after we're finished, and be munching on something within 10 minutes of the opening credits.  I'm the person that can't function without some kind of sweet or salty snack in my lap while a movie is on.  

After the movie, Hubby started pulling up stuff on his iPad about making cup desserts.  You know, those cakes you can bake in a coffee cup in the microwave with very few ingredients.  I kid you not, the word "ugh" came out of my mouth.  Not because I was grumbling about his waving around of temptations... but because the stuff he was showing me didn't appeal to me AT ALL.

What the heck is happening to me?

All week, while on the pill, I had been very conscious of my desire to eat.  Getting cravings to find something to snack on in the evening, or wanting to put a little extra on my plate because I was so hungry.  I had to be very diligent to ensure that I didn't do it.  I had to keep reminding myself of my purpose.  I had to mentally battle with myself that I didn't need the extra food or the snack.

And then, I go one day without the pill...and no desires or cravings come up.  At all.  In fact, not only was there no desires, but I even managed to skip a meal...and don't feel any form of deprivation from that skipped meal.

Could it be that coming off the pill for a couple of days will indeed have the effect I'm hoping for?  Does it even make sense that I feel the effects the pill is supposed to give when I'm not taking it?

It's all just very weird.

I'm staying off the pill again today.  I'm going to be a little more mindful of my meal times, and be sure that I stick to eating when I'm supposed to eat.  And I'm going to evaluate how I feel.  Will I have another day of amazing success?  Or, will I come to find that I'm wanting more food and starting to feel pangs of cravings?

I will have to wait and see.

Of course, there could be the slightest possibility that my body is starting to adjust to needing less food.  That while I'm taking the pill, I'm constantly reminding myself how strong I have to be..which leads to the desires of feeling hungry.  No pill, no thoughts about it.  My body may actually be starting to function with the small amount of food I'm giving it, feeling happier about the effects the smaller portions are having, and letting my brain focus on something other than food.  

I know it hasn't been long enough to just give the pill up.  I'm not taking it for it's mental qualities... I'm taking it because it's supposed to help with cravings, curbing my appetite, and boosting my metabolism.  The proof that it's working has been in my numbers on the scale the past couple of weeks.  There's no way I'm ready to jump ship, even if the appetite curbing effects really aren't working. If it's just boosting my metabolism, it's doing something positive for me.  And I plan to stick with it for as long as I need to get the maximum benefits from it.

I also feel, though, that I am starting to really get in to a good mentality about what I eat, when I eat it, and what I really need for fuel and what I don't.  And that's exactly what I wanted and needed.

It's still early days.  I still have a long way to go.  But, it's nice to know that even so early in to the process.. I'm making such good decisions and having so much progress.

And I can't ask for more than that.

Right now, though, I need to go and eat my breakfast...and finish that dreaded laundry.

Till next time!!