Today is the last day of the second full week back at work. It's only been a week and one day since actually having students in my class.
And, it's upon me.
The dreaded Pot Luck lunch.
The Pot Luck is a teacher's rite of passage. A sacred part of the culture. I have never been in a school that didn't have a pot luck celebration once a month, or every couple of months. Our school is opting for once a month this year, to celebrate all of the faculty birthdays that fall within that month.
And every ounce of me is quivering with nerves.
Regardless of whether or not I plan on eating anything... I am still expected to participate. I'm doing my usual, and buying a couple of bags of chips. It's my go-to pot luck plan, because I am at school until 6PM each night, and I barely have enough time to feed the kids when we get home before we're all passing out... let alone trying to prepare something for an entire school faculty.
This will be my first true test at my commitment to losing weight. Will I be able to resist the temptations? Will I be able to sway myself from the dips and chips and meats and desserts? Is there a chance I can eat, but only stick to stuff I know won't kill my calorie intake? I know that lots of the faculty often bring some form of salad. Can I get away with just having a few samplings of the different salads and veggies that are served? Do I take my own lunch and just avoid the pot luck altogether?
Questions that have been haunting me since the minute I drove out of the school parking lot last night.
I didn't do so well yesterday. I took a frozen burrito for lunch, that packs 300 calories all by itself... because I just needed a break from the mundane sandwich that I've been taking each and every day. A 300 calorie lunch isn't that bad. The burrito didn't contain any trans fat... just the usual processed crap I told myself I was going to try and avoid this week. Yet, when I got home, I found that Hubby had made burgers and fries for dinner. He did bake the burgers (they're not as bad as they sound and have way less fat than if they're fried), but he fried the fries. I ate one burger and some steak fries. Too many steak fries, probably... but only taking one burger instead of two was still out of my norm.
Still, not happy with my food intake yesterday. I was a little over in my calories...not substantially.. but over.
And I'm not happy about going in to a pot luck situation a day later.
I'm stuck with that dilemma. A part of me is saying that I should just take my own lunch and not participate at all. Another part of me is saying that I participate, I just stay clear of the stuff I know I shouldn't be eating.
At least there's not a part of me that's telling me to just throw caution to the wind and enjoy one day of mindless eating... it has been two weeks since I've done anything like that, after all. But, that's not going through my head. My ONLY options are to not eat or only eat the good stuff.
I think my best route, and the safest route, is to take my own lunch.. peruse the options at the pot luck.. if nothing appeals as healthy, then I just eat what I brought. I go in with one option, but have a back up plan if that backfires.
One thing I want to try and do for future pot lucks is be the person that offers at least one super healthy option. Like a veggie platter with hummus. Veggies aren't healthy drenched in ranch dressing. So, by pairing them with hummus..it gives people who are trying to watch their weight (hmm..me) an alternative to snack on. Maybe a veggie AND fruit tray. Hummus and Greek yogurt as the pairings.
That will be great for future pot lucks, and something I definitely need to prepare for. But, it's a little late now. Or is it? I suppose I could pick up a small veggie platter on my way. See what the store has to offer at 7AM in the morning. Now that I'm getting that idea... that's something I might do.
Look at me making decisions like being mindful of providing an option I can eat... even if it is a little last minute. That's a good sign, right?
I suppose it does me no good to whine and complain about healthy options if I'm offering up bags of chips to the mix. The only way I can be sure there's something available to me is to be the one to provide it. And OK, I can't make my whole lunch out of a few veggies and some hummus.. but I can sure add that to go with whatever sandwich I decide to take with me.
See, people, there's hope for me yet!
I've also made the executive decision to take my pill to work with me, and take it a little later than usual. I know I said on Wednesday that I wasn't going to upset the apple cart and mess with what I've been doing... but I've noticed that the effects of the pill have become almost non-existent now. The cravings are calling pretty much all afternoon, once I'm finished with lunch. Mornings have never been a time where I've dove headfirst in to binge eating, so it kinda makes sense to start taking the pill later.. when the cravings are at their worst...and see if the pill helps curb some of that. It would be really nice today if that happens.. before walking in to the room of temptations.
Being that it's Friday, it's a perfect day to experiment. If taking the pill a couple of hours later does keep me up a lot later, I can adjust accordingly over the next two days...and still get the sleep I need. If I take my pill around 10AM and find that I'm still up late tonight, I can sleep in tomorrow and try something else tomorrow.
OK... I feel so much better now. I'm not as nervous. I've got a plan, and I intend on putting it in to action. I'll pick up some veggies and hummus on my way to work, I'll pack my own lunch, I'll see what is available at the pot luck and only choose stuff that's healthy. If that just means some veggies and hummus from my own offering, so be it. I'll eat them and my own lunch. Simple.
And I know I can do it. I know I can be strong.
Now, let's see if my actions speak as loud as my words.
Till next time!