Because I successfully made it through my first day of keeping my calories in check. Only eating because I had to. And even though I had the pill as my companion, the half pill wore off much quicker than I anticipated... yet, I was still able to stand firm of not eating, even though I really wanted to.
Yesterday, I managed to make it through the day with only having one cup of coffee. That was the only caffeine I drank all day. After finishing up my blog and eating breakfast, I felt that surge of energy. I used it to go grocery shopping - on a Saturday - which is sometimes a work-out in itself. I loaded up on stuff that I can take to work for lunch. Lean deli meats, hummus for veggies (I have a nice supply of fresh cucumbers that will go with that), crackers, pretzels, and multi-grain bread. I will be taking small, simple lunches each day. A sandwich, some veggies or crackers or pretzels, and hummus or peanut butter. I also picked up more Greek yogurts that will be my breakfasts every morning.
I noticed that by the time I got back from the store (around 1PM), that energetic feeling was gone. I was hungry. So, I ate a sensible lunch. I had an onion bagel with Greek yogurt cream cheese.
After lunch, I sat and read for a while. While I was reading, I started getting those familiar feelings. Feelings that usually made me grab for the closest thing to snack on... because I was just sitting and not really doing much and that calls for a snack. Usually.
But, I resisted. Even though I wanted to eat.. I didn't. The pill is supposed to not make me want to eat, but it was obvious that the effects had dwindled.
After a while, it was time to get ready for a Back to School Block party that my school puts on to celebrate going back to school...getting a chance to meet my kiddos and see my old kiddos that I haven't seen all summer.
There was a lot going on, and a lot of food available. Hot dogs were being grilled. There was watermelon and cupcakes and other sweets free for all.
It was my job to man the bouncy house. Which was fun. I had to lift all of the kids in to the bouncy house because there was such a high step in to it, that none of the little kids were able to do it by themselves. Mix that with a heat index in the high 90s, me in a black shirt, and it took all of a few minutes to feel the sweat pouring down my face and back...and other places that sweat just shouldn't be pouring from.
Because it was so hot, and there was so much physical activity involved, I was kept on a solid water routine. In the two hours I was working (minus a few breaks here and there), I drank 5 bottles of water. Maybe more. I know I definitely had at least 5, because that's how many empty bottles I had accumulated at my station. I did take a break and eat a hotdog. One hotdog. Not the best choice for food, but last year I know I ate at least 3 of them... with the cupcakes and sweets. But not this year!
I didn't have any cupcakes or sweets. I didn't even touch the watermelon, even though I could have. I figured one hotdog was plenty. They weren't the little hotdogs, they were the huge franks served at ball parks. One of those bad boys contains 300 calories all by itself. Despite that, I was able to eat one with a bun, and still leave me under my calorie intake for the day.
By the time the night was over, I had sweat more than I have in weeks, worked out more than I have in weeks, and ate better than I have in weeks. Even after it was all said and done, I helped fold up and load the bouncy house - which weighs about 300lbs without any air in it.
Once I got home, I was exhausted. My first urge was to go straight to the kitchen and find something to eat. But, once again, I resisted. I told myself that I'd worked so hard all day at being good - I wasn't going to spoil it by finding something to snack it all away on. Even if it was something that was considered pretty healthy. I just wasn't going to do it. Late night snacking is one of the bad habits I want to do away with....no better time than day numero uno to do that.
This morning, I made the executive decision to up my pill from half to a full one. Even though I was told that I might want to just start out with half a pill for the first week, it was obvious from my first day that half a pill just isn't enough. I'm going to see how I feel today with taking a full one. If I get all shaky and jittery, I may have to take half a pill in the morning and half a pill in the afternoon... but that's the good thing about having the opportunity to experiment a little before I go back to work.
Even though it's just my second day, I truly feel more excited and motivated than I have in a very long time. I've talked about getting back on the saddle. I've wanted to. But, let's be honest... the followthrough just hasn't been there. I can talk a good game, but when it comes down to playing the game... I have fallen WAY short. All talk, no walk.
Now it's time to start walking. Actually doing what I've been talking about. The pill is really going to be a mental stimulant rather than a physical one. Because even though I felt no real benefits that I expected with the pill yesterday, I was able to stand strong. I was able to avoid temptations... because I knew that I was throwing myself in to letting the pill work. I know that I have to do a lot of the work, and the pill isn't going to do it all for me. And it's better to be in that mentality NOW.
Speaking of which... it's time for me to eat my breakfast.
Till next time!
a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman