Today is my first official day back to work.
That event kicks off with a district wide meeting first thing this morning, where breakfast will be served. And we're not talking muffins and coffee. No. I'm talking about a full, cooked, buffet style breakfast. Eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits & gravy, hashbrowns, fruit, waffles, donuts...etc. etc.
This morning will be a true testament to how well my pill is actually working, and how much control I have over my own mind.
I will be taking my pill before I leave. I will be drinking water on my drive there. I am focusing on eggs and fruit. Eggs and fruit. Eggs and fruit.
No coffee. No juice. Just water for me.
I upped my medication, yesterday, to taking a full pill. And to be honest, it wasn't that much different than taking half a pill. No jitters. No feeling funny. The only side effect I had to deal with was dry mouth... which just made me drink tons and tons of water. Can't complain about that, right?
I also found that I felt pretty good about myself. Meaning happy. Relaxed. Alert and awake. I wouldn't really say full of energy, but I had a little pep in my step. I did a few laps in the pool for some exercise with the family...and I didn't feel drained or tired after.
I did notice, however, that I was still feeling the urge to eat, but I fought it. Only sticking to eating my set meals. At dinner time, I made sure my portion was about half the size of what I normally eat, and I found that I was satisfied when I was finished. There were even some left-over, and I didn't even consider having more.
I spent the evening reading, and not once did I even think about grabbing a snack.
I don't know how much the pill has to do with that. I'm even starting to wonder if the pill is more of a mind over matter situation. I know I've taken the pill. I expect it to work. I find that even though I feel like I want to eat, I don't... because I'm committed to letting the pill kick in and take over my hunger feelings.
That didn't happen, but I was able to focus on not wanting to eat.
I actually ended my day yesterday being too far below my calorie intake. That's not good. I don't want to go in to starvation mode... which means I have to eat more today.
I figure the breakfast will help, and I'm taking the leftovers from dinner as my lunch. It was a perfect sized portion left for me to take.
I did take a little looksy at the scale this morning...and I was shocked to see that I'm already down 4lbs!! In two days.
I know that a lot of that is water weight. I've been drinking water like nobody's business...and sweating just as much. I'm not sure if sweating is a side effect of the medicine, or if it's just so hot outside that I'm sweating my behind off from just being out there... but I'm really dripping after not much activity.
What I do know is, I've shown more control over the past two days than I have the entire summer. I've logged everything that's gone in to my mouth, I've resisted temptations, I've kept my portions small, and I've forced myself to eat three times each day. I've even stuck to only drinking two cups of coffee each morning... which is a HUGE deal for me. And I haven't once felt cranky or gotten any headaches from my big decrease in caffeine.
Now that I'm going back to work, it's going to be a real challenge. I have to be on my game... perfection only. Planned meals. Preparation. Willpower. There will be lots of goodies in my midst over the next few days, and I have to show that I have the power to resist.
Honestly, after the past two days, I think it will be a cake walk (no pun intended). I really feel like I can do it.
So, let the games begin!