Saturday, August 31, 2013

I'm Still Good

I'm still alive and well.

I know I haven't posted since Wednesday, but other than to just say "I'm still doing well", I haven't really had much to say.

I don't, today, either.  

Except:  I'm still doing well!

I've gone another week of eating well, counting calories, and being good.  In fact, I could say that this past week has been one of my best weeks yet.  Not once have I eaten anything I shouldn't, or really even felt tempted to do so.

Yesterday, the ice-cream truck made a visit to the school so that kids could have a treat.  We did this once a month last year, and several times I bought an ice-cream bar.  I didn't even consider it yesterday.  Even though I was hot, and an ice-cream would have been a great treat to help cool me down.  It just wasn't something I wanted.  I watched as kids lined up, I watched them eat their sweet, ice-cold treats, and all the while all I could think about was where those sticky hands would end up when they were finished.  HA!

I've been taking my pill each day between 10:30 and 11.  That has really seemed to help.  There has been absolutely no late night cravings for food, and I've had a lot of trouble eating the small portions of food that I've been dished up for dinner each night.  I'm pretty sure that I may have forgotten my pill yesterday, but it didn't impact my thoughts on my food or require me to need more food.  And when I say I'm "pretty sure" it comes down to I've gotten myself in to a routine...and I sometimes can't remember one day to the next if I actually stopped long enough to take the pill.  The realization usually hits later in the afternoon, and then I try and remember if I did or didn't.  Being that each day just run together in blurs, it's hard for me to remember if I'm thinking about that actual day or the day before.  

Regardless, pill or no pill, my eating IS becoming a habit.  I eat at the same time each day.  I eat similar foods each day.  And I'm loving the fact that it's just becoming my normal routine, and not something I have to consciously remind myself to do.

I'm still staying firm on their being hope for me yet.

Yesterday was Jeans Day at work.  I put on my jean capris that I haven't worn in a couple of weeks.  I immediately noticed that they were looser around my stomach.  And the school t-shirt I wore with them, I haven't worn since the Back to School Block Party we had the week before school started.  That day, the shirt held tight to my midsection.  Yesterday, it hung off of me...obviously, now too big.

It was a great feeling.  

Nobody else has really seemed to notice my weight loss.  Which is hardly surprising.  The people I work with see me every day, and I'm sure they're not noticing any drastic changes just yet.  I don't expect them to remember how my t-shirt looked the last time I wore it to know that it no longer fits snugly around my stomach.  But, feeling those changes myself is A-OK with me.  I know my body is finally starting to get smaller.  And I knew it wouldn't be long before I started noticing the changes.

This afternoon, I'm taking my Jelly to a birthday party.  Decked out with sweets, and cupcakes, and other birthday party goodies.  There will be none for me.  I already know that.  It won't even be a temptation problem.  How do I know?  Because just thinking about that stuff doesn't have the same effect that it used to.  I'm more worried about sitting outside for two hours in the heat...just thinking about food with that doesn't appeal.  

I'll be more worried about filling up my water cup and staying hydrated.  

Next Friday, I have my first check-up with my doctor since starting the pill.  It's weird to know that it's already been a whole month since I started taking those pills.  It's been three weeks exactly today that I started taking them.  It's crazy that in three weeks I've been able to make so much progress in the way I think about food, and how easy it was to overcome the battle I was having with junk food.  

They say it takes 21 days to create a habit.  Well, it's 21 days to the day for me...and I know that the habit is falling in to place.  

I don't feel like I'm in so much of a struggle or that temptation is lurking around every corner.  I've started to program my brain to only want foods I can eat, or at least...only the foods that I need.  I no longer think about a candy bar with longing and desire.  I no longer consider how a small handful of chips really can't be all that bad.  

I'm starting to finally get it.

Food is not a prize or reward.  It's not a companion during tough times or boredom.  It's just stuff that my body needs to function...and there are only certain foods my body really needs to function in a healthy way.  

The only "treat" I'm allowing myself is an extra cup of coffee on weekend mornings.  Hardly anything to worry about.  And even the extra teaspoon of fat-free creamer I put in to it is nothing to cause great concern.

Of course, I'm not out of the woods.  I'll never be.  These next few months, I'll be traveling a lot with my kiddos to various sporting events.  On those nights, dinner will come from places we stop to eat.  Or figuring out some way to pack foods to take with us...which will be hard because I'll be at work all day before we go.  So, I will get a true test at overcoming my food battle.  Will I opt for healthier options?  Will I seek out places that won't ruin my waistline?  Will I figure out a way to pack a dinner-on -the-go?

What it really comes down to is that a person battling weight issues will never be "cured".  Life will always stand in the way, throwing curveballs of various situations.  It won't always seem easy.  And it only takes a few minor setbacks to cause havoc on the success I've had.

But one thing I do know for sure, is that right at this moment...I'm good.  Great.  Feeling better than I have in a long time.  And I know that it will be hard to give up that feeling.

Have a great Saturday!

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