Tuesday, July 16, 2013

A Post About Whatever Comes to Mind

One thing I told myself when I started this blog back up was that it didn't have to be a daily blog.  I already have one of those...and I write it every, single day.

The purpose for this blog was to recharge my weight loss efforts, and get back to blogging about it.  The good, the bad, and the everything else in between.

But, apparently, I have a little OCD problem when it comes to my blogs.

For some reason, when I write my other blog... I feel this strong, impulsive desire to come straight here and blog.

For the most part, something eventually comes to mind to talk about.  I either think about something that's playing on my mind or I skim over some other weight loss blogs until I get an idea on what I can cover.

That didn't happen today.

I sat here for a while, thinking, reading...even answering and posting a comment or two.  But the truth is, I got nothing.  Which is very rare... it actually never happens.

So, I thought... well, why not just see what I can come up with?

Here we go...

The third choice option is working well for me.  For anyone that's not familiar with that - it's basically a strategy I'm using to eliminate the junk out of my life, or decreasing it anyway.  Instead of giving in to each craving that I come in to contact with, I only opt to give in to the third.  An example... Friday evening, I was in the mood for something sweet.  Being that I was at my first "temptation", I held off.  Saturday afternoon, my sister offered to buy me a candy bar when she went to the store.  I declined - second temptation.  Sunday afternoon, I wanted a candy bar - so I bought one.  Rather than eating three over the course of the weekend, I ate one.

The food is by far the hardest part of losing weight.  That's no secret.  Everyone knows that to truly lose weight for life, it's 80% diet and 20% physical activity.  Or something like that.  I know I've heard it a thousand times.  The problem is, I always give 80% to exercise and 20% to my food choices.  And even though I'm working out and doing 80% more activity than I'm used to doing...it doesn't do a thing for me if my eating doesn't mesh.

And the main problem is that I'm not eating enough.  Well, not eating enough when I should.  What I mean is, I have a really bad habit of skipping meals...or eating extremely light for meals like breakfast and lunch which causes over eating at dinner time.  It's been the age-old story with me.  I just sometimes forget to eat during the day, because I'm occupied doing other activities.  I'm not bored, so I don't think about eating.

And the sad truth is, I don't know what it feels like to actually be hungry.

I don't stop to think about eating during the day, because my body doesn't indicate to me that I need to stop what I'm doing and eat.  Or if it does, I don't know what the signal is.

Because I've spent my entire life eating through my feelings, the fact of eating because I need to hasn't really come in to play.  Unless I set an alarm on my phone or something, I don't stop to eat breakfast or lunch...and the only reason I eat dinner when I do is because it's usually prepared for me.

I know that sounds silly.  Someone that doesn't eat much is as heavy as I am... but it's the truth.  And I know why.  Because when the food is prepared and in front of me... I realize I haven't eaten all day, and then eat until I'm stuffed.  In the evening.  And then sit on the couch for the rest of the night letting all that food absorb in to my system...and my butt..and face..and thighs...and midsection.  Rather than balancing all of my eating over the course of the day, I do it all at once...in huge portions.  I might not even reach my calorie intake for the day - but I know that eating 1200 calories in one sitting is causing me serious problems.

That's why meal planning is so important.  Along with eating about 6 times a day - very small meals six times a day.  The calories are separated out.  More chance for the calories that are consumed to be burned off.  If I'm working out and then ending my day eating a 1200-2000 calorie meal...I'm only adding to my problem rather than fixing it.

Food aside, I can feel the affects that my exercise is having on me.  No, I'm not feeling the pants getting looser or anything like that... but I am feeling more energetic.  I don't or haven't wanted to take a nap since leaving summer school.  Before school got out, I made it a summer goal to spend my days getting in a nap.  But, being that I've been so active, I haven't had the desire to do that.  I'd much rather opt for a swim in the pool followed up with lounging in the pool for a while.  Or going for a long walk and then watching a bit of TV.  I can also stay up much later and get up much earlier.  

Also, I notice I sweat a lot more.  Not really sure if that's good or bad.  But, when I first started working out again - back in summer school - I had to do a lot of physical activity before I really started to sweat.  Now, I can sit for a little while in the sun and be sweating my behind off.  Like right now for example.  I'm sitting on the patio with my coffee and iPad.  It's warm outside, but there is a nice cross breeze... nothing too hot.  But, I can feel the sweat dripping down my back.  I'm doing nothing but sitting here, and I'm sweating.  

That's not usual for me.

All in all, I know that in order to start seeing progress, I'm going to have to align my eating with the desire I have to exercise.  I have the desire.  I'm following through on the desire.  But, my eating is standing in the way for it to do any good.

I've received some suggestions about what I can do about it.  A friend offered up Vegan Before Six.  I looked in to it, but I know that it wouldn't work.  My addiction to food doesn't come from meat or even dairy..it comes from carbs.  What I don't eat in meat and dairy will undoubtedly come from carbs.  

I've been told that I should go back and give Atkins another try.  While I lost a lot of weight in a small amount of time with Atkins, and I know it will work if I actually follow the entire program... it's the feeling of "I couldn't do it before, why could I do it now?"  that plays on my mind.

Countless people have recommended doing the 6 times a day, 1 protein/2 carb ratio meal plan.  Again, something I've tried and know works.... but struggle with eating so many times.

The sad truth is, my past is causing my struggle with the future.  I just can't shake the feeling that because I've succeeded and then crashed before - I will do it again.  My biggest obstacle right now is just committing and doing...and not letting doubt get in the way.

I honestly think that a mixture of all three programs needs to come in to play here.  I need to eat more often in smaller portions.  I need to cut back on carbs.. big time.  I need to focus on eating more veggies and fruit rather than meat and dairy.  

And so, I'm just going to go with setting my alarm throughout the day.  I'm going to plan what I'm going to eat at each one of those times.  I'm going to make it a goal to incorporate a lot more veggies and a lot less carbs, meat, and dairy.  Not eliminate anything, just balance out the variety more.  

And lookey there... a blog post... about weight loss, or trying at least.

I amaze myself sometimes.  If I just sit and let my feelings out through my fingertips, all kinds of revaluations  happen.

Right now, I need to go and work on a meal plan.  


Till next time!

a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman


  1. Have you checked out Vegan Before Six? SO easy to do! Not a diet, either.

    1. I have, but I need something that's kinda the opposite. I don't want to cut back my meat and dairy - because I don't eat that much to begin with. It's the carbs I have a problem with. That's why I need something more along the lines of Atkins, but not entirely trimming carbs down to the bare bones. I want to eat a lot more veggies and a lot less bread and pasta..of any form, not just white versions. Because I tend to overeat the whole wheat varieties too.


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