So, yesterday, I wrote about how scared I was about wearing a bathing suit out in public. Today, I was supposed to be taking the kids to a new water park...and the thought of being in a bathing suit where total strangers could see me was nerve wracking to say the least.
Luckily, and unfortunately, our trip has been postponed until next week. Something came up with P-Momma, and so we just decided to cancel for today and go next Friday. No biggie.
And inside I'm rejoicing just a little that I have another full week to process and prepare for wearing a bathing suit out in public.
I made a rash decision yesterday, and that was to buy a new bathing suit. Not that I really needed one. I have a suit that fits perfectly well for swimming around in my own personal pool.. but it is a two-piece and I just couldn't stomach the thought of wearing it out at the park. Even though it's a full coverage two-piece.
So, I went on the hunt for a one piece that I liked. And ended up with something similar to the one in the picture...although it has a different design.
I like the full coverage and comfort that it offers... but I feel like a beached whale in it. It's big. Too big for my liking. And I don't mean I bought the wrong size... I mean I had to buy a size that I didn't want to buy. Any size that has a 2 in the front of it makes me mad. I don't want to start straying up in to the 20s again... but I had to for this purpose. I could and can fit in to a size 18 bathing suit comfortably, but being that it's July and that means all the department stores have started phasing out their summer clothes... I was stuck with buying a size 20.
That sears me to the core.
What the heck is up with the phasing out of summer clothes in July? It hasn't even been a full month since summer officially started, yet the summer clothing sections at the store look like winter is fast approaching. And don't even get me started on the Back to School sections that have now popped up in full bloom.
I wore my new bathing suit last night in my own pool, and I liked the fact that I didn't have to keep pulling my top down. I like the fact that it's not too tight. I like the fact that because it's a little big, the legs don't come up like a underwear fit, but fit more like boi shorts.
I don't like the way that it brings a main focus to my midsection... and how far it sticks out.
But there's nothing I can do about that in a week... but something I can do over the course of a few months.
Last night in the pool, I did some major swimming. I raced the kids, I swam laps for the fun of it, and by the time I got out 2 hours later... my arms and legs felt like Jell-O. But, if I'm going to have fun in the pool...I want it to be of the exercise kind. Racing the kids is super fun, and competitive. Right up my alley. My kids are old enough now, and swim well enough, that I want them to give me a run for my money... and to still be able to beat them brings some joy to my heart.
I know that probably sounds bad, but my kids are taught that there's nothing wrong with some friendly competition...and in real life, no one is just going to let them win to soothe their egos. A great life lesson to learn, if I say so myself.
Swimming is something I can do, and do very well. I've been swimming for as long as I could walk.. before so in fact. I took swimming lessons as a child. I learned all the different techniques and stokes. Most people can run and leave me in their dust.. but when it comes to the pool? I'm leaving them in my splash. And it's one thing that my weight hasn't affected. No matter how big I've gotten, I've never lost my ability to swim my way across a pool like a fish. And that's something I'm pretty proud of.
Anywho, there's no public display of my body in store for me today. There are other things planned, which I should probably be getting ready for. I can breath a sigh of relief for another week... but it will soon be upon me. I'm going to have to mentally prepare all over again, but it also means that I'm motivated to work my tail off this week... knowing full well that a week won't change my appearance in that bathing suit. But, it can at least push me off in the right direction.
OK, that's all for today...
Till next time!
a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman