Oh Yeah.... I'm BAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!

Holy crap balls, you have no idea how weird I feel typing these words right now.  Do you know how long it's been?  No.  Seriously... do you know?  Cause I have no freakin' idea.  It's been so long, that I considered changing my name to Old, Mad, Fat Woman.  But, that's a little wordy, don't ya think?

Who am I even talking to?  

Is there anyone still out there?  Hello?  Echo? Echo?

That's OK, I'm quite used to talking to myself.  It's just how I get things done.  Having inner and outer conversations with oneself is not a sign of madness.  I don't care what anyone says.  It's a sign that I just love the sound of my own voice, and I have to be listening to it constantly.  Either on the inside or the outside.

So, I know what you're all thinking....(by all I mean just about anyone reading this right now.  Even me)

Why on earth did I come back? 

The truth?  Because I'm a Mad, Fat Woman again.  Like a total replica.  Not as heavy as I once was many years ago, but as heavy as I was when I first got serious about being "The Mad, Fat Woman".  

All 260lbs of her.

Yikes.  That's tough to share.  But, one thing you all know about this woman is that I'm honest.  Upfront.  I tell it like it is.

Well, maybe you don't know that.  Maybe you have no idea who the heck I am and have never read a single thing I've ever written before.  In that case HIYA!! Thanks for stopping by.  I'm a very large gal on a mission to lose weight... for the upteen billionth time.

One thing I have continued to do since my hiatus from this blog is stay caught up on the goings on of my favorite weight loss bloggers.

One thing I've noticed is that my blog roll list is so much shorter than it was the last time I was here.  I've noticed that several of the weight loss bloggers I wrote along side a couple of years ago have disappeared.  No notice.  No explanation.  Just gone.  

And then, there are those that have stayed true and faithful to their dedication and commitments.  The changes I've seen in those people are extraordinary.  And, whether they'll read this or hear about this I don't know, but they are the reason I'm back.  They never gave up... they stuck with it... they continued to pump me each day with motivation that one day I would return.  Not only return, but for once.. succeed.

Another thing I've continued to do since my hiatus is continue to blog.  You may already know that if you followed me to the new blog I created.  It's called Life and Times of Jo.  I switched the Mad, Fat Woman off and just became me.  A regular gal who blogs about life in general.  The kids.  Home life.  Work life.  Recounts of my daily life.

But, there was always something missing.  Always a part of me that was yearning for something more. Something that felt like it was dangling from a piece of thread that was either waiting to be repaired of just cut off and put out of it's misery.  

A few days ago, I realized that it wasn't too far gone to repair.  

So, I'm going to try it.  Again.  To repair the serious defect plaguing my life.

My weight.

When I first became the Mad, Fat Woman.  I was a student in college.  A student in college that was juggling school, working a part-time job, then switching to student teaching, raising three kids, and being a good fiancé to my Hubby.  Even with all that going on in my life, I completed a fitness boot camp, I became a runner, I learned the importance of using food as fuel rather than comfort, and I lost over 80lbs.  

But then, I graduated from college and my life changed.  When I thought I would leave college and have a job handed to me on a silver platter, reality set in that finding a teaching job in my area wasn't as easy as I thought.  I couldn't find a teaching job, and the stress it took on me was devastating.  It started to slowly eat away at me... causing me to eat away.  And eat some more.  And even more.  

Until, eventually all that hard work I had done started to crumble away and disintegrate into nothingness.

It took an entire year before I actually found a teaching job.  But, I did.  Last May.  I was hired in a school district right across the state line.  I'm now a 4th grade teacher, and I have loved every single day of my first year teaching.

Not only that, but I tackled the other major stressor in my life:  Finding and buying a new house.  

It was my dream to accomplish three things after graduating.  First, get a teaching job.  Then, buy a brand new car.  Then, eventually, buy a new house that was everything that Hubby and I wanted in a house.

Who would have thought that in a mere year I would accomplish all of those things?

I started my new job last August.  I bought a brand new Kia Sorento in October of last year.  And exactly one month ago, Hubby and I closed on the house of our dreams.  A huge 4 bedroom/2 bath home that sits on almost an acre of land and comes with a fantastic in-ground pool.

Life couldn't be more perfect.

Except for one thing....my weight.  Well, and my fitness level.

I'm no longer a runner.  I'm not even a walker.  I'm no longer sporting my curvy waistline, but hiding bulges under baggy t-shirts and shorts.  And, it's just not supposed to be that way.

I've managed to check off every single item on the list of life goals in a matter of one year... all except that dreaded weight loss.  That one still stares me in the face each time I glance in to a mirror or large window.  It haunts me each time I pull out an outfit from my closet and see bags and bags of clothes that once fit me...and made me look fabulous.

And I realized, I just couldn't stand it anymore.  Again.

So, after much inner deliberation and arguing... The Mad, Fat Woman returns.  The sequel.  The new chapter.  Whatever you want to call it.  All of my old blog posts still reside on my other blog.  I contemplated moving them back over here... but I don't need them.  This is a fresh start, and with a fresh start comes building from the ground up.  Not trying to rebuild on once was.

So, here I am.  Back.  I have 100lbs to lose to get to goal weight.  I have to start over with accomplishing any level of fitness.  It's back to walking before I can run.  But, run I will.  Again.  Eventually.

I haven't decided if this will become a daily blog.  I haven't decided when I'll share weigh-in updates.  I haven't decided on whether I'll post pictures.  Or should I say when I'll post pictures.  I'm just taking this one day at a time.  It's all I can do.

But... hopefully you've missed me.  Hopefully you're up for supporting me once again.  Hopefully you're interested in at least seeing what I have to say when I say it.

Hopefully this was a good enough introduction post.

That's all for now.

Till next time....

Joanna

a/k/a  Mad, Fat Woman

(Ah, how I've missed signing off that way)