Sunday, October 13, 2013

I Have a Few Days to Make it Right

What a crazy, stressful, busy week it has been.  And, I know I say that quite a bit...and it's always true...but nothing compared to the crazy that's taken place this week.

Monday, volleyball game in Joplin, MO., home around 10PM.  Tuesday, football game at home, home around 10:30PM.  Wednesday, was supposed to be my one and only free night, that was until Butter broke his wrist at practice resulting in us being at the ER until almost 1AM.  Thursday, another volleyball game at home followed by a home football game of one of her best friends, home around 11PM.  Friday, a volleyball field trip to the University of Arkansas to watch the Lady Razorbacks play volleyball, home around 11PM.  Yesterday, afternoon I went in to work trying to get some stuff caught up, but not succeeding in the slightest, home around 6:30PM.

And you think I exaggerate when I say I lead a hectic life?

If you're wondering about the whole broken wrist thing, you should really read my other blog... I went in to great detail about it there.  If you didn't read it, the short of it is Butter was tackled at football practice and landed on his wrist.  It dislocated his growth plate and fractured the forearm bone.  They had to call in an orthopedic surgeon to pop the growth plate back in to place, because leaving it could have resulted in permanent damage to his wrist, possibly with him not being able to use that wrist again.  My poor boy went through it that night, and he's been recovering ever since at my mom's house.  He was supposed to go back on Tuesday to get a hard cast put on, but he's still in so much pain that I'm calling the doctor tomorrow to see him again. 

So, this entire week has revolved around my kids.  Not that I mind.  That's what a parent does, right?  Puts their kids first and goes without sleep so that they can do the things they want to do.

And I wish that I could say that while all this crazy was going on, I was diligent with my eating and taking my pill and doing everything I'm supposed to do in order to get this weight off.  But, then I'd be lying.  

I was supposed to go to my doctor's appointment on Wednesday.  I had already made the decision to reschedule, because I was having a sub on Thursday and had absolutely no time to prepare.  It was a good thing I did reschedule, because with Butter's accident I wouldn't have been able to go anyway.  I'm going, instead, this Thursday.

The bad news is I haven't been near as diligent as I should have been.  The good news is I haven't had much time to eat, so rather than spending all that time overeating.. I've ended up under my calorie goal most days.  There has been quite a bit of fast food, though.  

Being that I've been so sleep deprived and frazzled this week, I've ran out the door a couple of times leaving my breakfast behind.  I've packed light for lunch, and then dinner has been either skipped or we've grabbed food while out.  The grabbed food hasn't been great, but there hasn't been tons of it either.  I haven't opted for burgers and super sized fries every time.  Monday night, we ate at Golden Corral.  I had a plate of food and was full.  On Tuesday, we grabbed half priced burgers at Sonic.  I ate a burger.  On Wednesday, I had fish that Hubby had prepared...a couple of small pieces while running out the door during the dropping off the girls at home and turning back around to get Butter to the hospital.  On Thursday, it was Sonic again.  But this time I went with chicken.  No sides.  Friday, we ate at McDonalds.  So...there has been WAY too much fast food.

Yesterday, I didn't eat anything before eating dinner last night.  We had pot roast, and I ate a small piece of meat and some potatoes.  Eating that made me feel full..a little too full.  

And I took my pill maybe twice all week long.  Again, not good at ALL.

So, this week has basically been a wash.  There just hasn't been anything good come out of it in terms of my dedication to my weight loss.  Thankfully, the crazy is now going to be put behind me after tomorrow.  One last volleyball game of the season, and then it's smooth sailing for a while.  Butter will still be going to football practice, but he won't be able to play.  He has his last game next Tuesday, which just so happens to be the same night as my parent teacher conferences, so I won't get to go.

Being that I have my doctor's appointment on Thursday, I really want to buckle down these next few days and do EVERYTHING that I'm supposed to do.  Eat all three meals, and sensible meals.  Take my pill each day.  Drink gallons of water.  And maybe, just maybe, I can get rid of some of the bloat that's plaguing me.

My usual midweek check on the scale this morning revealed that this week hasn't been as bad to me as I thought it would.  But, then again, I've come to learn that the midweek check in can be misleading.  I end up with a pretty good number on Sunday, but by the time Wednesday rolls around it's not near as good as I thought it would be.  I just need to make sure that I stay on track between now and then.  There's no reason I should gain any weight if I do what I'm supposed to do.

I'm not giving up, though.  Yeah, these past couple of weeks have been rough.  Emotionally and physically draining.  But, I'm not ready to throw in the towel.  I'm not ready to call it quits.  I just look at these weeks as being obstacles I wasn't able to overcome.  Tests, if you will, that I failed.  I may have lost these battles, but the war is still very much in my favor.  I'll still come out victorious.  I haven't lost my momentum or dedication, I just truly haven't had any time to think about either.  Everything else has come first, and as a mother...that's going to happen. 

I wish I could sit here and say that I need to start putting myself first, but the truth is..that will never happen.  My kids will always be my first priority.  And I've heard the argument that I need to put myself first so that I can be here for my kids longer.  But, I won't sacrifice their happiness for my own.  It just means I need to work harder at figuring out how to juggle everything at once.  

I'm just kinda relieved at this point that we didn't decide to put Jelly in to dance classes.  Can you imagine how much more would be piled on my plate had we decided to do that?  Thankfully that wasn't something she wanted to do, and something I wanted her to do.  I think I'll just wait a while until she develops some interests on her own, and then support them when that happens.

One thing I can brag about today is the fact that I ordered a shirt at work in XL instead of 2XL - which is what I'd always ordered before.  The XL fit very well, and doesn't cling to me like they used to.  That shows that I've lost some inches around my waist, and that's something to be happy about.

It's those little moments that help me hang on, stay the course.  Yeah, I'll slip and fall sometimes.. but as long as I get right back up I'll be OK. I'll figure this whole mess out.  I'll eventually get there.  

OK, time for me to go and get some work done.  

Till next time!

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