OK, So Today is Actually Day One

There's been a change in plans.  Just a minor one.

Yesterday, I blogged about starting my new weight loss pill.  I was supposed to start yesterday, but being that I had to go and have a medical procedure done... I had to hold off another day.  Just to be on the safe side.  I had a mole removed, which I blogged about on my other blog.  You should go check it out... I feel like I don't get as much love over there:  www.lifeandtimesofjoblog.blogspot.com

I would have hated driving all the way to my doctor's office and finding out they couldn't do the procedure due to the medicine.  Which, I find out, was exactly what would have happened.  Good thing I waited.

This morning, however, I did start my medicine.

It's been a little over an hour since I've taken it...and apart from feeling a little shaky about 20 minutes after I took it, I'm feeling OK now.  

Some of you asked what medicine I had been put on.  Well, it's Phentermine.  I had kinda thought about keeping the name quiet, because I know there is so much hoopla out there about the dangers associated with Phen-anything.  But, it is what it is...and it's not worth trying to keep it quiet, because I'm not ashamed to be taking it.

I'm fully aware of the dangers involved with the drug because my doctor told me.  That's why I have to be monitored so closely.  But, the positives far outweigh the negatives... so I'm going to try it.

After taking my medicine, I waited the 30 minutes instructed before eating breakfast.  I opted for a Greek yogurt for breakfast. I was told that I had to eat something with a good amount of protein...and with only 160 calories, it gets me off to a good start.  

I can gradually start increasing my breakfast intake when I get used to eating breakfast.  Which is something I really have to work on.  The most important meal of the day is usually the only meal of the day I don't eat.  That's going to have to take some forcing on my part to turn it in to a habit.  

Here in a little while, I'm going to the store to stock up on some stuff for my lunches this week.  I start back to work "officially" on Monday, and I will be taking my lunch each day.  My lunches will consist of a sandwich and some crackers.  Maybe some veggies, but I want stuff that will last in my refrigerator.  My doctor did say that if I'm worried about wanting to eat more for dinner, that will be the time to load up on the veggies.  So, a small lunch is what I'm shooting for.  Although, now that I'm thinking about it... some veggies with hummus to go along with my sandwich does sound yummy.

I took a big step yesterday in decreasing my caffeine intake.  Hubby and I bought a single serve coffee machine.  Like a Keurig, but cheaper.  That way, I don't have to make a pot of coffee and see it sitting there wanting to me to drink it.  I can make one cup and be done.  Which is what I did this morning.  Just one cup.  Which is about 4 cups less than what I'm used to drinking on a Saturday morning.

I also have my water cup ready to go, so that I can drink nothing but water.  That's all I'll be drinking, now, besides my morning cup of coffee.

I've updated my Fitness pal tracker so that I can use it to track my food...and added my breakfast as I was eating it.  

As I'm typing this, I feel this rush of energy inside of me.  I could just go run right now.  I don't feel jittery or that my blood pressure is rising...just full of energy.  And, the weird part is, I feel happy.  Really happy.  

I've been a little cranky these past few days because Aunt Flo is here.  I don't usually suffer from PMS, but I always tend to have a shorter straw when she's around.  I snap a little easier and get irritated a little quicker.  But, right now, I feel like I'm super happy.  That I just want to laugh... for no reason.

If this is what taking this pill is going to be like... I think I'm going to be A-OK.

But, now, I just can't sit here any longer.  I have to go do something.  Anything.  Move.

Till next time!

Some May Call it Cheating, I Call it the Possible Answer to My Prayers

Well, I had my doctor's appointment.  And you know what?  It wasn't that bad.

I fully expected my blood pressure to be through the roof, because for some reason I was so freaking nervous.  I don't know why.  I knew what was going to happen.  I knew that they weren't going to really find that much wrong with me.  But, my heart was racing while sitting in the waiting room.

Nurse comes and gets me, takes me back, makes me stand on the scale.

262.2lbs

Damn.

However, it was 2PM, so I knew that probably wasn't as accurate as it should be...but still.  On August 1st I weighed 260lbs.  I kinda expected a lower number than 262lbs eight days later.

Then came the blood pressure cuff.

128/78.

Not bad at all.  Just a little higher than my usual of 120/70... but nothing to be concerned about.

Pulse and oxygen were good.

Nurse goes out, APN comes in.  

I don't mind seeing an APN.  Some people get a little bent out of shape about it... but for routine check-ups, it doesn't bother me.  My Jelly sees an APN quite regularly..and to tell you the truth, she actually prefers the APN because she's a lot more fun and "down to earth".  Her regular doctor always seems a little hurried and not really all that interested in what I have to say.  

My APN was very similar.  Very nice.  Down to earth.  And made me feel comfortable from the get-go.

We talked about my weight.  She asked me the routine questions about my family history of diabetes and heart disease.  Being that there is family history of both, she wanted a diabetes and cholesterol screening.  She also asked me about my motivation on wanting to lose weight.

There it was.  What I was expecting.

I told her my history.  I told her about getting up to 300lbs after having Jelly.  I told her about me losing almost 90lbs two years later.  I told her about graduating college, not being able to find a teaching job, and then eating my way back up to my around 240lbs.  And then the last 20lbs were for good measure over finally finding a teaching job, and putting weight loss at the back of my mind while I just tried to get through my first year doing the best job I could.

Not once did she look at me with judgmental eyes, or give me the feeling like she'd heard all the BS excuses before and here was another person feeding her the same old lines.  Even though I felt that way with every word that came out of my mouth.

She told me that it sounded like I was motivated, I was just having a problem with my eating.

Urm...exactly.

I want to lose weight, I just can't quit stuffing my face. 

That's the best way to describe it.  I'm energetic enough.  I exercise when I want to.  I'm able to exercise.  And according to her, I exercise much more than most 260lbs women she's met.  She even seemed a little surprised when I told her I'm still able to walk for 3 or 4 miles and run around a playground.  Not sure if there was a hint of "yeah, right" in her eyes or just genuine surprise.  But, regardless, she seemed happy that I was still able to do those things.

After hearing me out, and asking a few questions here and there I waited for the words to come.

The "you need to eat less and exercise more, period" words.  The words I'd heard so many times from doctors and nutritionists and counselors and fitness experts.

But, she didn't say them.  She looked at me with a look that made me think she felt sorry for me.  Like she knew how hard I'd struggled...how hard I wanted it... but I just couldn't get my head and my mouth to work together to make it happen.

She then asked me if I'd consider taking prescription weight loss pills.

What the what?

She shared with me that she'd gone through what I was going through.  She had been pretty heavy several years ago, and just couldn't get rid of the weight.  She'd yo-yo up and down, she tried different diets, she exercised like a crazy woman... but she just got to a point where the weight loss would stop completely and then she'd feel let down and would start eating it all back on again. 

Until she was prescribed some help... in the form of a pill.

Now, I'll admit that my first reaction was to say no.  I have told myself time and time again that I don't want to lose the weight with pills or surgeries or crazy detox plans.

But, how much longer am I going to keep going on what I'm doing?  How much longer can I just pretend that I don't have a serious eating problem, and that no matter how much I say I'm going to lose the weight... it just doesn't happen?

She obviously saw the panic and confusion taking place in my head because then she started telling me about the drug.

Her first words were that they were NOT some wonder pill that would make all my problems..and weight..disappear.  If I decided to do it, I would have to put in the work...and put up with the side effects.  It wouldn't be easy peasy from the moment the first pill slid down my throat.

It's an appetite suppressant first and foremost.  It will curb the cravings and the desire to eat.  I will actually have to force myself to eat...three times a day.  No ifs ands or buts about it.

It will also increase my metabolism.  That will burn more calories, but if I don't put the energy to good use, it can make me feel jittery and anxious.  

In order for the pill to work for the short amount of time I get to take it, I can eat no more than 1400 calories a day.  Only cutting out the junk food, processed sugar and flour.

I will have to limit my caffeine intake to only 1-2 cups per day of coffee.

(Hearing those words almost me walk out.. but I had to be serious.  Giving up a couple cups of coffee wouldn't kill me.)

I listened.  I processed.  I started asking questions.

How long would I take it?  How would it help me lose the weight and keep it off?  What happens if I can't control myself from eating more than 1400 calories a day?  Would it or could it damage my body?

Answers:  No more than 3 months.  It helps reprogram my mind to only needing calories for energy rather than mindless eating.  The problem will be forcing myself to eat 1400 calories, not worrying about going over.  The only possible problems would be an increase in blood pressure that will be monitored monthly.

I was apprehensive.  Was this cheating?  Was I giving up because I was looking for an "easy way out"?  

But, then... I started thinking about everything I've gone through.  I started thinking about how much I've tried and failed.  And at the end of the day, is it really so important how I lose the weight if I find something that actually works?

Don't get me wrong, I hate taking pills.  Loathe it, in fact.  But, if a pill can help me stop this mindless eating, give me some pep in my step when working out, and help my body understand what it truly needs... is this the answer to all of my prayers?

So, I decided to do it.  For a month.  Just to try.

I start today, and have to go back in one month for my first check-up.  They'll check my weight and my blood pressure.  I can evaluate how the pill makes me feel, and if I truly believe it's something I can live with.  

There are rules I have to follow, and I need to show proof of following these rules when I go back:

I have to track everything I eat.

I have to stay within 1200-1400 calories a day.

I have to walk at least 3 times a week, preferably 5...and at a brisk pace that causes a sweat and increased heart rate.

When I feel like I can jog, I need to do it... but that doesn't have to come in my first month.

No more than 2 cups of coffee a day, maybe less depending on how my body takes to the jittery feelings.

No white flour or sugar.

I HAVE to eat three meals a day.

I have to monitor my sleeping patterns.. how much I'm sleeping, if I'm having trouble sleeping, etc.

And stay the course.  Unless I start feeling dizzy, nauseous, or lethargic...then no more pills, straight back to the doctor.

I'll admit, I'm a little nervous.  I want it to work, but I'm also worried about the possible side effects.

But, if it gives me the jolt I need to get on the fast track of curbing my eating problems... then I have to try it.  

Some may consider it cheating... but whatevs.  

Some may consider it unhealthy... but whatevs.

I need this.  I truly do.

I've tried.  And tried.  And tried.

The motivation is there, it's just the follow through I struggle with the most.  And if "follow through" comes in the form of a pill, it only makes sense to give it a go.

Let's see what happens, shall we?

Till next time!

Time to Take a Trip to the Doctor

I wrote about this same topic on my other blog this morning... but it also has a good relationship to my weight loss efforts, so I'm writing about it here too.

Today, I'm going to the doctor.  For a wellness check-up.  

Meaning, I'm not sick... I just want to make sure everything is working the way it's supposed to.

Being overweight, that always brings a whole new level of expectations.

I expect to hear that I'm overweight.

I expect to hear that my weight has drastic importance to my chances of having other diseases or illnesses.

I expect to hear that I need to lose weight in order to avoid getting sick or developing illnesses and diseases triggered by weight.

Basically all stuff I already know.

But, then there's always that niggling feeling that they're going to tell me something I didn't know.  

Have I already developed one of those illnesses?

Is there something already wrong with me that I didn't know about?

Have I finally been dodging the bullet long enough and my weight loss efforts finally come down to a life or death situation?

It's been a really long time since I've had a wellness check.  The last time I had all those tests done, I was pregnant with Jelly.  I made it through a pregnancy being extremely overweight and not developing high blood pressure or gestational diabetes.  My doctor was even surprised that my cholesterol level wasn't bordering on clogged artery worries.

Despite being overweight, I was healthy.

That was 5 years ago...longer, actually, being that my Jelly will be 6 in December.  So, for the past 6 years, I've been without a physical examination to check for stuff that I may have.

A little scary to think about.

In that time, I decreased my weight quite a bit...and then put it all back on.  I'm about the same weight now as I was before I got pregnant... maybe a little heavier, being that I don't actually remember how much I weighed when I got pregnant.

I know I was big.

I know that because up until I lost 80lbs a couple of years ago, my adult weight was always between 260 and 300lbs.

But, I'm older now.  That probably increases certain chances of something now being wrong.. something now indicating that I really have to buckle down before I open up the gates of Obesity Hell.

I dread standing on that scale in the doctor's office.  I dread them hooking me up to a blood pressure cuff.  I dread them checking my cholesterol level.  

It has to be done, though.  It needs to be done.  It's been too long since it's been done, and I don't want to die an early death because I was one of those people that only ever went to the doctor when I really needed to go...basically on death's door.  And that hasn't happened within those past 6 years, either.

So... I'm off.  To go get everything checked out.

Wish me luck... I feel like I might need it.

Till next time!

Preparing My Back to School Wardrobe

I'm less than a week away before I head back to work... officially.  I've been working in my classroom for the past week, but that doesn't count.  

Why?

Because the best thing about working in my classroom when I'm not being paid to work in my classroom is that I can show up in anything I want... shorts, tank tops, old t-shirts.  I don't have to worry about looking professional or clean-cut, because I'm only there to do one thing:  Get all hot and sweaty while trying to prepare my classroom.

But, this morning, I didn't have that option.  I had to get out of bed and face my "professional" closet for the first time in two months.  Because today and tomorrow, I have to go to training...and that's something I can't show up for in my old shorts and t-shirts.

I have to admit, I was a little panicked.

I've spent two months in baggy sport shorts and summer dresses.  Neither being acceptable to wear to work... unless I put a shirt under the summer dress, but who wants to do that when it's 100 degrees outside?

I looked at all of my work pants and shirts....will they still fit?  I've gained and lost so many times this summer I wondered if my math was off, and I'd end up not being able to fit in the outfit I selected.

I guess my math was OK, because the capris and shirt I picked out fit just fine.  The same way they did the last time I wore them.  Not really much of a boost to my confidence level, but a relief nonetheless.

Now that I'm down to having less than a week before I go back to work, I guess my plans on losing a ton of weight over the summer has dried up.  It's not going to happen.  If anything, I'll be going back the same weight I left.  But, I suppose that's better than going back 10lbs heavier...which is quite common for me during the summer break. 

It's a little disappointing, but I'm really determined that once I get back to work I will be able to start seeing the pounds fade away.  Once I'm back in to a normal routine...keeping my mind off of mindlessly eating.

I'm not getting the opportunity to put my work clothes back on and feeling them significantly looser.. but fall and winter are fast approaching.  Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to dig out my warmer clothes and get that feeling then.

I have a feeling I'll be spending quite a bit of my back to school time in skirts.  They fit me better, and are more forgiving to my waistline.  I can't stand it when I put on a pair of pants that are a little snug.  Forget spare tire.. I have a whole set of tires that protrude over the top of my pants when that happens.  I then feel uncomfortable and self-conscious all day.  I hate feeling that way.

I made the goal to try and lose a significant amount of weight over the course of the summer.  That didn't happen.  I only have myself to blame.  I could have eaten better.  I could have exercised more.  Time was my friend, but it was also my biggest enemy.

When I have time to spare, I end up wasting it.  

Not exactly wasting it, but switching my priorities around to focus on not doing a whole lot of anything. I internally tell myself that once school starts back up, I won't be able to just spend my days laying on the couch with a good book.  Or lazing in the pool.  Or watching movies with the kids while eating handfuls of candy and crackers.  Or indulging in a few adult beverages.  Or sleeping until 10AM.

Sure, I've made much more of a conscious effort these past couple of weeks.. but it was a little too late. I may have lost 5lbs in the past couple of weeks, but that was 5lbs I'd gained since I got out of school.  Not really something I can be proud of.

But, one thing I do have working in my favor is how much I crave structure.  Going back to work will provide the structure I need to stay on track, and keep myself in check.  

I've set my mind to taking my lunch every day instead of eating cafeteria food.  I could have just told myself that I'd eat from the salad bar each day... but I knew that was disaster just waiting to happen.  I'd start off just fine, but it wouldn't be long before I was telling myself it's OK to eat whatever the cooks had prepared..it's just one time.  Day after day after day.

I've set my mind to eating breakfast before I leave for work in the morning.  Being that my kids will also be taking their lunches and eating breakfast at home, it can become a routine to get up and eat breakfast together.  And to prepare our lunches together.

I've set my mind to spending a few afternoons in the school gym walking and jogging.  Peanut and Butter are both going to be playing sports, so I'll be staying at the school each day until 5:30 or 6.  No reason Jelly and I can't go down to the gym and do our own thing.  I'm sure she can find something to occupy herself with while I'm walking around and around the gym a few times.

And as long as I keep my mind set on those things, I have no doubt that once it's time to dust off my winter clothes.. I'll be happy to discover that they fit better.  Maybe even getting in to some stuff that didn't fit me last winter.  

So, yeah, my back to school wardrobe will be pretty slim pickings for a while.  I refuse to buy anything new until I get back down to a size I'm comfortable with.  Which would actually stop me from needing to buy anything new because I already have a ton of clothes that used to fit me that don't any more.  It sure would be nice to fill my closet with those clothes instead of what I have now.

But the only thing standing in the way of that happening is me.  I either do it or I don't.  Ugh, if I had a dollar for every time I've typed those words.  

OK, enough from me... I need to go to training.

Till next time!

Joanna

a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman

My First Experience with Quinoa

                    

One thing I promised myself with revamping my weight loss efforts was that I'd jump out of my comfort zone and try some of the "super foods" I keep hearing about.  Foods that are healthy, tasty, and satisfy cravings that can be brought on by certain other foods that I eat.

I'm a carb junkie.  Everyone should know this by now.  No matter how healthy a carb is, I tend to overeat it thus taking away any and all health benefits.  Because, come on, even healthy carbs can do havoc to the waist line if not eaten in moderation.

Because I know that I can't cut carbs out of my diet, I know that there are carbs out there that I need to avoid and others that I can try that give me the health benefits without the normal carb induced feelings of triggering certain binges.

Enter: Quinoa

I've heard a lot about it, yet up until last night, I'd never tried it.

Stop your gasping...I know, it's unbelievable... but truth be told:  I'm not a real big fan of trying new fancy foods because of hype that I've heard about them.

When it comes to healthy eating, I still have somewhat of a rabbit food mentality.  Stick to veggies and lean protein, whole grains (that I'm familiar with) and then just eat less than what I normally eat.

But then what happens? I get bored seeing the same old same old in my pantry and refrigerator, and I start swaying in to dangerous territory looking for something to satisfy my hunger from places I shouldn't be looking.

So, I decided that this time, I'd start trying new things... discovering the plethora of "super foods" and healthy eating options that are out there so that I could avoid the boring scenario I usually get myself in to.

I know that some people may be reading this and be shocked that I consider Quinoa as a new food.  I know it's been around for gazillions of years.  I know that health gurus have been eating the stuff since health junkyism took off.  I'm a late bloomer, what can I say?

But, last night, I bit the bullet and Hubby prepared quinoa for the first time to accompany our dinner.

It wasn't so long ago that we tried couscous for the first time...and Hubby was a little apprehensive.  He's not really all that in to my healthy eating "fads".  He is more of a meat and potatoes kinda guy, but he knows that when I want to eat healthy, I want the whole family to eat healthy with me...so he'll give new stuff a go.  And, thankfully, he liked couscous making the introduction of quinoa a little easier.

Well, unlike Hubby, I actually preferred the quinoa over couscous.  Hubby didn't think the quinoa was bad, but he said he preferred couscous.  It may just mean I need to nudge him to try different seasonings or something when he cooks it... but an OK is better than hating the stuff, so I've got some room to keep trying.

We ate braised lean pork chops cooked with mushrooms, quinoa, and green beans.  The whole dinner was fantastic.  The quinoa was moist, filling, and tasty.  I ate and felt full, and I didn't get the urge to eat again 10 minutes after dinner.

I have to admit, I enjoyed the experience.  Trying something knew.  Feeling good about it.

Adding to my new tries, I discovered Greek yogurt cream cheese the other day.  A perfect companion to my onion whole wheat bagels.  Creamy, yummy, less fat, better for me.  

Life hasn't been all new foods and roses.  I have eaten a few things this week that I shouldn't.  Mainly Klondike bars.  And some Chex mix.  Chocolate Chex mix.  Not in great quantities...but I've strayed a couple of times.  

I bought the kids their new lunch boxes this weekend.  I'm so excited about preparing our lunches every evening, and eating foods I'm picking rather than foods that are being picked for me.  I really feel that going back to work will really help push me in the right direction, and give me the focus I need.  Away from sitting around and doing nothing which leads to wanting to eat because I'm bored.

When I get back to work, I'll be eating because I have to...and that's it.  

Speaking of which, I need to go and get ready... I have to work today.

Till next time!!

Joanna

a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman

 

My Self Image... I Really Do Love Myself

I wrote a pretty deep blog on my personal blog this morning.  It was to someone close to me that's having a hard time loving herself.  

She's thin.  She's beautiful.  Yet she doesn't see it.

Which got me thinking... how does one know when they truly love who are they?

I've read many blogs about people wanting to lose weight because they hate the person looking back at them in the mirror.  They hate what they've become... who they've become.  They hate the rolls, they hate the fat...and they want to lose weight so that they can love themselves again.

When I think about those statements, it hits close to home.  I don't like what looks back at me in the mirror.  I don't like having to wade through outfits finding one that doesn't cling to my fat rolls or I have to apply Crisco just to get in to.

But, the big revelation I had this morning while writing the tough blog post is that I do love myself.  No matter what I look like.

And, I'm not trying to lose weight so that I'd love myself, but BECAUSE I love myself.

I love the person I am.  On the inside.  

I'm funny.  I'm quirky.  I'm dedicated.  I'm loving.  I'm loyal.  I'm smart.  I'm talented.  I'm a damn good mother and teacher and lover and friend.

It's always been my mindset to surround myself with people that love who I am rather than what I look like.

That doesn't happen near as much as I'd like... but those that are closest to me, love me for who I am.  And that's the important part.

I don't like the person looking back in the mirror.  I don't hate her.  I just look at a person that lost their way somewhere... gave in to stress and anxiety and turned to food for comfort.  If anything, I feel sorry for her.  Rather than being strong and standing up to troubles, she kept them locked inside and thought that applying food on top of the problems would keep them at bay.

When I think about my dedication to weight loss (or lack thereof in many cases) it's not because I stopped caring or because I finally accepted the person looking back at me... it's because I once again fell trap to problems.  Rather than facing them head on, I put them down...way down in the pit of my stomach, and started feeding them to keep them at bay.  Literally.

But, the realization is, when I commit to losing the weight it's because I love myself so much.  I want to be the best form of myself that I can be.  I don't want to be skinny, I want to be fit and healthy...and rock an outfit minus any Crisco applications.  

The more I commit to trying to lose weight, the more I'm showing myself how important I think I am...and how much more I can love myself.  

So, yeah..that's what I needed to get off my chest this morning.  I don't think there's anything wrong with the person on the inside, I love her.  She's amazing.  I just need the outside to reflect those inner feelings.  And it's something I'm going to remind myself each time I reach for something that harms that image instead of helping it.

I'm not losing weight to love myself.  I already do.  

I'm losing weight because it's what I want to do.  

I'm sure it will make me happier, but I'm already happy.  It's about being stronger, fitter, healthier.  Not about happiness.  Not about love.

Well, I guess it is.  In a way.

I'm doing it because I love myself.  And I'm OK with that.

Till next time!

New Month, New Weight...Kinda...Not Really

                       

 

So, here it is...the first day of August.

On July 3rd, I kicked the scale to the curb.  Because it was being mean and hateful to me.  It told me that I was up to 265lbs!!  At the time, I thought I was doing better and should NOT have seen that on the scale.

So, I told myself that I would restart my numbers from there and wait a month before weighing in again.  Then, that changed a little because I started talking to Sally, and it was only a couple of weeks ago that I really started to put in to practice what she'd told me.

Well, I'm happy (and not so happy) to report that in the past month, I've lost 5lbs.  Technically that's within the last couple of weeks because I did weigh myself around the middle of July and I was still at the 265 point.

Yep, I'm back down to 260lbs.  Which is actually the number I started at when I first restarted the blog.  But, it wasn't a great start, and I continued to gain there for a while.

It sucks to know that after almost two months, I'm just back to where I started.  BUT, I do like the fact that I've lost those 5lbs in the past couple of weeks after really hankering down on the eating and exercise.  So, it must be doing something.  And if the trend continues from here on out, I'll be one happy camper.

I honestly don't want to lose tons of weight quickly.  I'm OK with slow and steady...as long as there is some movement in the right direction.  As long as the scale continues to go down..at any rate... I'll be satisfied.  It may take me two years to lose the 100lbs I want to lose, but I know it will be a lot easier to keep it off if I've spent two years accustoming myself to my new lifestyle than if I did it all in 6 months.

I'm not going to weigh again until September 1st.  Officially.  

I'm hoping that I won't get all messed up with going back to work.  But, if this week is any indication on how that will go, I'm ready and prepared.  Being back at work this week has really been great on my eating.  I'm keeping myself busy, which is keeping my mind off of food.  I'm also just drinking water while I'm there, so that's helping me get more water each day.

For the first time in a long time, I feel very confident in myself.  I needed this loss, regardless of if it's just putting me back to my starting point from before.  It shows that I'm doing what I need to do.  It's showing me that Sally is giving me great advice, and that as long as I continue to listen to her - I'll be OK.  

Right now, I have to get off of here because I'm spending the day with my mom.

Have a great Thursday, everyone!

Till next time!