The Beginning Numbers

                         

So, it's just going to be a quick one today, so that I can update and post my starting numbers for the at-work weight loss challenge thing I'm doing.

It just dawned on me that even though I did my first weigh in yesterday, I have absolutely no idea how the challenge is going to go.  I mean, I don't know if I'm going to weigh in weekly or what the rules are if we gain weight, etc.  Someone mentioned yesterday that in the past, if a person gained weight they had to pay a $1 for every pound gained... but nothing was really explained yesterday so I should really find out today.

Anywho, I weighed myself when I first got up and I weighed 250.6lbs.  Which is 2lbs down since my last weigh in on January 2nd.

At work, after drinking a couple cups of coffee, I weighed in at 255.8lbs.  But, the nurse did say that the scale tends to be about 3lbs heavier than a regular scale... so I guess I will be able to compare that after a few weigh ins.

I hate being 8lbs heavier than I was the last time I weighed in back in November.  Gaining 8lbs in two months isn't good, but I guess that's what happens when out of two months I was out of work for 5 weeks of that time.  So, it really shows that my work does give me some activity.  My doctor told me that the activity I do at work doesn't count towards getting in any exercise, because it's my regular routine.  Well, if that's the case, explain why I was losing weight while at work and gaining it while I wasn't?

Don't really answer that.  It was rhetorical.  

I know that I can't blame my weight gain solely on the fact that I was out of work so much.  

But, I am back now, and my body should start adjusting back to being on my feet all day, rather than sitting on the couch all day.

In fact, I have way too many aches and pains this morning for my liking.  It actually makes me want to get out and run all the kinks out.  Something I plan on doing today after work.  I have a training all day, so I'll be sitting all day.  I don't want another day of sitting.  I need to be up, and active, and moving.  I hate standing up and feeling tightness and pain in my legs... unless that pain comes from the fact that I've done some serious working out.

I figure after a day of listening to a speaker, I'll need to run off some energy. 

OK, that's it for me today.  Told you it was going to be quick.  I will find out all the details on the challenge and post them when I get them.  

Till next time....

Weigh In Wednesday

                                

It's going to be a quick post today.  I have to hurry because I'm dealing with a water leak under our house, and I have to go take a shower pretty soon that will require in and out as soon as possible as to not waste anymore water than necessary.

It's been a pretty stressful week, and that is apparent in my weight today.

Last week, I weighed 244.8lbs.

This week, I weigh 243.8lbs.

I've lost a pound this past week.  A loss is a loss, but it's not exactly much to write home about.  

And do you really want me to write the same old stuff?  

I've decided that as long as the scale is moving in the right direction, I won't beat myself up too much. I know I could be doing a lot more, but the small efforts I am making are having some impact...and that's better than nothing.

I know some people will translate that last paragraph in to me starting to give up.  That's NOT true.  I'm just tired of being so negative about my weight loss.  I know what work has to be done, and if I'm not doing the work I have no one else to blame but myself.

I'm pretty stressed out right now, and if I can still make it through that stress by watching what I eat, and managing to lose a little weight... I can be OK with that.

I am very happy that I made it through Halloween without going crazy on candy.  That's a victory.  There is and has been candy in my house since Halloween.  I'm not going to say I haven't eaten any of it, but what I have eaten has been a small piece here and there.  Far from overdoing it.  

I have been packing my lunch each day, and I've been on a soup thing for a little over a week.  I've been buying those low calorie, throw in a microwave and eat kind.  They aren't the most healthy option in the world, but they don't hurt my calorie intake, they fill me up, and I love the variety of flavors that I can choose from.  There aren't any more calories in a bowl of that soup than there is in a sandwich.  So, I figure it's not that bad of a choice.

All in all, I'm just happy that there is some weight loss.  

And, now I need to go and hurry and take a shower.

Weigh In Wednesday: Finally Moving in the Right Direction....Again!

                            

It's been three weeks since I posted a Weigh In Post.  Mostly because there hasn't been any weight lost in the past three weeks.  In that time I've been holding steady at 246lbs, wondering if I'd ever break through that plateau.

To be fair, I can't really call it a plateau.  A plateau is when you stop losing weight while still doing everything you can to lose the weight....and it means you have to up your game.  I hit a wall because I stopped trying.  To lose, anyway.  I was managing to maintain, which meant I wasn't doing anything my doctor told me I needed to be doing.

This past week, I've gone back to trying again.  Eating 1200 calories a day.  Taking my pill.  There hasn't been any steady walking, and I really have no reason why.

What I can say is that since last week, I've lost 1.2lbs.  This week, my scale says 244.8lbs.

A month ago, I was dying to get to that spot.  To be under 245lbs...and to have lost more than 20lbs.  But, because it's taking me so stinking long to get to it, its kinda lost its pazazz.  

Losing 20lbs in 2 months was going to be awesome.

Losing 20lbs in 3 months, just isn't as awesome.

I will take some pictures this morning when I go get dressed so you can see the difference from three months ago and today.  Although I'm really hoping that it won't be 3 months until I can post the next set of progress pictures.  

Of course, these next two months are going to be TOUGH!!  Halloween is just a day away.  Thanksgiving is just a month away.  And Christmas will follow a few weeks later.

This is usually the time of year where I start thinking that it's not worth trying to lose weight.  Just focus on sensibility as to not gain it all back.

I can't do that, this time.

My doctor has told me that if there is no weight loss, there's no pill.  And even though I know I could lose the weight without the pill, I'm also confident that the pill is giving me the boost I need.  It doesn't curb my hunger, but it does curb the cravings.  I can eat... but I can't eat as much.  And the pill also messes with my senses.  Smells that I used to find absolutely irresistible are now kind of nauseating.

But that only happens when I'm taking the pill.

The minute I start to falter, the cravings come back.  The over eating comes back.  And the irresistible smells are once again irresistible.

In the three weeks that I maintained, I took my pill maybe a couple of times.  And even after visiting the doctor the last time, and hearing his warnings about not getting the pill anymore if it wasn't helping, I didn't jump right back in to taking it.  Somehow, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't need it.

But, I started taking it again this week...and BAM.  Down another pound.

While I don't want to become subservient to the pill, and depend on it being the only way to lose the weight, I do feel that it's helping kick start my motivation.  The proof is in the pudding that I'm not ready to fly solo.  I absolutely, 100% believe that when I'm ready... when I've lost enough weight to really keep the momentum going... I'll be ready to say goodbye to the pill without putting the weight back on.  I maintained for 3 weeks without the pill, I know that I'll be just fine when I do decide to give it up for good.

So, there we are.  Finally back on the horse and losing the weight.  

Even though I'm not as stoked for reaching this milestone... only because it took so long... I will say that I do feel pretty happy.  I can see the changes my body has started to make.  I can feel some of the differences.  

Last night, as I was walking out to my car after a very long Family Night at work, one of my coworkers stopped me.  She wanted to tell me that even though she hasn't said anything before, she had noticed that I was really looking good.  

It was perfect timing for such a wonderful compliment.

It meant a lot for her to say something, and I know that she meant it.  It turned around my whole perspective on my visual success....and I got to leave with a big smile on my face.

Yes, I am starting to look better.  Still have a long way to go until I believe I look "good"... but I'll get there.

PLUS, if I can lose weight over the next couple of months, then NOTHING will ever stand in my way.  I'm confident and ready to prove to myself that holidays or no holidays, my weight loss comes first!!

OK... next time you hear from me, I'll have progress pictures to share.

Till next time!!

Weigh In Wednesday

                           

Oh yeah.  It's one of those weigh in days.  When I stand on the scale and then feel like cursing at it and throwing it out of the window.

For the most part, I know that the scale is pretty honest with me.  It's going to tell me like it is.  Yet, this morning, I know that it's lying.  It's not being honest with me.  Yet, it's not the scale's fault.

Smart one, here (that would be me), decided to not eat dinner until 11PM last night.  

Eating dinner that late is a no-no the night before a weigh in because I KNOW that it's going to skew my results the following morning.  That food laid in my stomach all night, and I've eaten enough late night dinners to know that by tomorrow...the scale will be back to where it's supposed to be.

It wasn't really my fault..eating that late.  I mean, I had planned on eating dinner when I got home from the football game.  But, previous games have ended by 8PM.  Which usually get me home before 9PM... still a little too late to eat, but an hour or two before I actually go to bed.  Last night, the game didn't get over until 9:30, putting me home until almost 11PM.  It was in the door, scarf my food and bed within 15 minutes.  

Last week, I weighed in at 247lbs, which was a slight gain from the previous week.  The week before, I had weighed in at 246.6lbs.

This week, I managed to lose the weight I gained and a little more.  I'm now down to 246lbs.  

Only a one pound loss from last week, and only 0.6lbs down from the previous week's weight before I gained.

Which is a real pain in the rear, because I REALLY wanted to be down to 245lbs this week so I could post my 20lbs lost progress pics.  

What makes matters worse is the fact that I saw that number this past weekend when I stood on the scale for a mid-week check in.  To see that number then got me all excited, but I tried to stay cool... because I always make sure to go with what the scale says on Wednesday as my "official" weigh in.  

And now, because I was stupid and ate so late last night, it's going to be another week before I can see that number.  

I have my doctor's appointment this afternoon.  It's going to be a tough stretch to get that number down to where I want it by then.  Especially since the appointment is at 4PM in the afternoon.  

It's going to be a tough pill to swallow walking in to that doctor's office losing less than 10lbs since my last appointment.  I've only lost 6lbs since my last appointment... a month ago.  Not exactly the best success in the world.  I'm hoping it's good enough for the doctor to keep giving me my medicine.

I am just very thankful that this is the last week that my life will be so darned hectic.  The volleyball season ends on Monday of next week.  Then that's it.  I just have two more football games after that, and I'll be home free.  Back to getting home at a reasonable hour each night.  Back to planning meals, and staying focused on my weight loss rather than how much sleep I'm going to fit in.  

These past couple of weeks may have been slow moving, but I'll get momentum back.  Being gone four nights a week and at least one day on the weekend for sports has taken it's toll on me.  I've made it through, but it's wore me down.  

I actually can't wait for the days when I can go back to spending an hour or so in my classroom doing stuff and then heading on home for some rest and relaxation.  

Until then, though, I'll take whatever loss I can get and run with it.  This last month may not have been the most successful, and not near as good as my first month, but I'll keep my chin up and keep pounding the weight away.  

Slow progress is better than no progress.

That's the way I'm going to look at it.

But, right now, I need to run.

Till next time!

Weigh In Wednesday

                             

Today is weigh in day, and for the first time in eight weeks, I'm going to be reporting a gain.

I'm not surprised by it.  I kinda knew it was going to come.  

After the rocky end of the week last week, and the not so great weekend, I just knew that I had some damage to undo.  I did better than I thought I would do at undoing that damage, and Aunt Flo came to see me yesterday....so I also know that some of the weight is bloat.

Last week, I weighed in at 246.6lbs.

This week, I went up to 247lbs.

A gain of 0.4lbs.  Not the end of the world.  Not a major gain.  And, most likely not a real gain in the sense that once I lose the water weight I'm currently holding on to, it might not even be a real gain.

When I stood on the scale on Sunday, after that I had that major ordeal with Peanut, I was up to 249lbs.  So, at least I'm not still there today.  I got back down, a little.

I was going to say that I'm not going to beat myself up over such a small gain.  But, in reality, I kinda am.  Just for the simple fact that I let myself go a little... I allowed myself to get off course enough for that gain to be there.  It was my fault, and if I don't stand up and take responsibility... I won't really do anything about getting stronger at avoiding those situations.

I'm still pleased with the progress I've made, overall, but I still have a VERY long way to go.  And it's not time for me to be slacking off in the slightest.  If I don't stay firm.  Committed.  Strong.  I won't get where I need to be.

I've already majorly cleaned up my act since this weekend.  I've been eating what I should...and my only downside since Sunday is that I haven't been eating dinner until around 9PM.  

Tonight is the only night I'll be home at a reasonable hour this entire week, actually.  Tomorrow Peanut has a volleyball game, and then we have the Homecoming Bonfire.  Friday night is Homecoming, and we'll be going to that...and it will undoubtably be a late night.  

I have agreed to take the kids out for dinner Friday night before the game.  And I already know exactly where we're going:  Subway.  They can like it or not.  Subway is a place I feel safe when it comes to staying mindful with my eating.  I know that I can get out of there without being tempted in to eating something I shouldn't.  And, I can feel leaving satisfied and not as though I've just eaten rabbit food.

Alright.  That's what I've got, for now.  Not much more to say.

Except, there won't be a gain showing on the scale next week.  I can promise you that.

Till next time!

Weigh In Wednesday!

                         

When I woke up this morning, something told me that today's weigh-in wasn't going to go very well.  Call it a premonition, call it ESP, or call it the fact that I knew darned well what was going to happen because of how the last week or so has gone.

And the fact that I ate gas station food for dinner last night.

And the fact that I have only taken my pill once since last Wednesday, because I keep forgetting..and I really need to come up with a better system to remind myself when it's time to take it.

Last week, I weighed in at 248.8lbs.  A great loss from the week before. 

This week?  248.4lbs.

So, still down something... but only 0.4lbs.  

That still puts me at losing 16.6lbs in less than two months.  

I don't think that's too bad.  And it's still possible, I suppose, that I can lose 8.4lbs in the next couple of weeks before my next doctor's appointment... but it's going to be REALLY tough.

And while I'm happy to see at least a tiny loss, I know that my tiny loss versus a decent loss is at my own hand and my own doing.  

With the CR-AZY schedule I had last week, there were several nights that I wasn't eating until after 10PM.  There were several days during the last week that I ate foods I shouldn't.  And the lack of sleep that I had last week didn't help anything. 

This week is going to be better.  Except for the cheeseburger and fries that I had for dinner last night because I was traveling to a football game, and the only place to stop and grab something to eat was a gas station/diner.  

I did, however, skip the shake I bought for everyone else after the game.  While my kids enjoyed a late night Sonic shake - one of the things that helped me gain a few pounds over the summer - I opted for a cherry limeade instead.  

One thing I've learned this week is that when I keep a crazy schedule, I have to be better at planning ahead.  When I know I'm going to be traveling for a game, I need to pack something to eat on the road.  I can't rely on stopping somewhere and making the right choice.  When I'm in a hurry, I don't let stuff like calories and portions take the front seat for my decision.  I shove them both in the back, and think about what the quickest food is to grab and go.

Losing 16.6lbs is amazing.  And I'm very proud of it.  Yet, I know that I still have so much to learn, and so much to do before I have a handle on what "eating healthy for life" is all about.  It can't just pertain to "life" when there's no running here, there and everywhere...because my life doesn't work that way.  I spend a good majority of my life in that mode, so I have to figure out the best ways to deal with healthy eating on the go...as a busy mom.

But, I learn each and every day, move on, and just start over.  That's the mentality I'm going to have and keep.  If I fall, I just stand back up.  I just have to try and watch myself more closely so that there's less trips and falls on my part, but it's a process..and it's still very early on.  I know I can and will do better.

OK, time to move on...let it go...and get ready for a brand new day.

Till next time!

Weigh-In Wednesday

                             

It's gonna be a pretty quick one from me this morning.  I'm functioning on 4 1/2 hours of sleep, and my brain feels like it's going to be quite the challenge just to get a few words typed up this morning without too many spelling and grammatical errors.

Plus, I have to get my other blog post written explaining why I'm only functioning on 4 1/2 hours of sleep on a Wednesday morning.  But, for that info, you have to go read the other blog post...once it's written...at www.lifeandtimesofjoblog.blogspot.com

Anywho....there's only one real reason to come here on Wednesdays anyway.  And that's to see how many pounds I've dropped, or gained, or if any pounds have been dropped at all since the previous Wednesday.

I told you all this weekend that I had my one month follow up visit with my doctor last Friday.  I have made good progress in the month I've been on the weight loss pill, and I was approved to go forward for another month.

It's hard to imagine that around 6 weeks ago, I weighed 265lbs.  Five weeks ago, I weighed 262lbs.  Last week, I weighed 251.4lbs...which was also the same weight I had when I visited my doctor on Friday.

I made it a personal mini goal to get down to 239lbs by the next time I go see my doctor again.  That would mean losing 12lbs in a month.  Not impossible, but a pretty stiff goal.  I'd have to lose almost 3lbs a week to make that happen.

This morning, I'm very happy to report that I'm well on my way to achieving that mini goal.

Today's weight:  248.8lbs.

That means I'm down 2.6lbs since last Wednesday.  A total of 16lbs gone so far!!

I really wanted to see a number in the 240s this week, and I did it!!

I now weigh less than what I did this time last year.  I took a look back through my old posts this morning to see if I could get an idea of how much I weighed last year.  The last time I weighed in before calling the weight loss game quits, once again, was August 19th 2012.  On that day, I weighed 249.4lbs.  So, over the course of the school year, I managed to get up to 265lbs.  But, the good news is, I'm back down...and further down that what I weighed then.

And there's no quitting happening this time around.

Oh, and to add a little icing to the cake...it's no secret that I've been very lax in kicking off an exercise routine.  All the weight loss success I've had, thus far, has been completely motivated by changing my eating habits.  But, I want to add exercise, I just haven't been motivated enough by the end of the day to follow through.

My principal goes to CrossFit twice a week...don't get excited, I'm not doing that.  Yes, I'd love to..and it would be awesome, but it happens twice a week from 6-7PM twenty minutes further away from the direction of my house.  Meaning I wouldn't get home until after 8PM on those nights.  It wouldn't be so bad, but with all the ball games I'm going to be attending over the course of the next two months, it's just not feasible to commit to something like that just yet.  Maybe once football and volleyball seasons are over.

Anywho, she's doing CrossFit twice a week, but she also wants to start walking twice a week.  So, on Mondays and Wednesdays, my principal and I are going to start doing some walking.  Around town.  After school.  Sounds good to me!! I haven't been walking because I'm by myself in the afternoons, and just don't have the energy.  I know that having a walking partner (or team if more people decide to join us) will push me to follow through... because I don't like letting people down or coming across as saying I'll do something and then not doing it.

It's OK to do that to myself, but not when other people are involved.

So, tonight is supposed to be our first night for walking.  And despite only having a few hours of sleep last night, we'll see how it goes.

But speaking of going.. I have to.  Right now.

Till next time!!!

New Month, New Weight...Kinda...Not Really

                       

 

So, here it is...the first day of August.

On July 3rd, I kicked the scale to the curb.  Because it was being mean and hateful to me.  It told me that I was up to 265lbs!!  At the time, I thought I was doing better and should NOT have seen that on the scale.

So, I told myself that I would restart my numbers from there and wait a month before weighing in again.  Then, that changed a little because I started talking to Sally, and it was only a couple of weeks ago that I really started to put in to practice what she'd told me.

Well, I'm happy (and not so happy) to report that in the past month, I've lost 5lbs.  Technically that's within the last couple of weeks because I did weigh myself around the middle of July and I was still at the 265 point.

Yep, I'm back down to 260lbs.  Which is actually the number I started at when I first restarted the blog.  But, it wasn't a great start, and I continued to gain there for a while.

It sucks to know that after almost two months, I'm just back to where I started.  BUT, I do like the fact that I've lost those 5lbs in the past couple of weeks after really hankering down on the eating and exercise.  So, it must be doing something.  And if the trend continues from here on out, I'll be one happy camper.

I honestly don't want to lose tons of weight quickly.  I'm OK with slow and steady...as long as there is some movement in the right direction.  As long as the scale continues to go down..at any rate... I'll be satisfied.  It may take me two years to lose the 100lbs I want to lose, but I know it will be a lot easier to keep it off if I've spent two years accustoming myself to my new lifestyle than if I did it all in 6 months.

I'm not going to weigh again until September 1st.  Officially.  

I'm hoping that I won't get all messed up with going back to work.  But, if this week is any indication on how that will go, I'm ready and prepared.  Being back at work this week has really been great on my eating.  I'm keeping myself busy, which is keeping my mind off of food.  I'm also just drinking water while I'm there, so that's helping me get more water each day.

For the first time in a long time, I feel very confident in myself.  I needed this loss, regardless of if it's just putting me back to my starting point from before.  It shows that I'm doing what I need to do.  It's showing me that Sally is giving me great advice, and that as long as I continue to listen to her - I'll be OK.  

Right now, I have to get off of here because I'm spending the day with my mom.

Have a great Thursday, everyone!

Till next time!

Not a Weigh In Wednesday

So, normally, this would be the day that I share what the scale said to me first thing  this morning... and compare that number to the number that it told me the week before.  

But that's not what's going to happen today...because I'm having a fight with my scale.  An I'm not talking to you and never want to see you again kinda fight, and it's really lucky it hasn't been thrown through a window.

I stood on the scale this morning, thinking that I'd give it a chance to make up for the nasty stuff it told me the other day.  But, apparently, it's still on a rampage to royally tick me off...telling me I've gained all of my weight back and then some.  A lot some.

I decided the best thing to do would be to flip it the bird, and shove it back in to it's hiding spot...and we'd take a break from each other for a couple of weeks... give it a chance to cool down and start being a little nicer.

The truth is, normally I'd take what the scale says and just accept it.  Oh, I gained 4lbs in a week?  Wow, that sucks... time to do something major about that.  But, not this time.  Gaining 4lbs in a week when I've spent every single day doing some kind of physical activity, watching my food intake, limiting sweets and crap food, and drinking way more water than I've drank in a very long time just doesn't make sense to me.  

How is it possible when I've practically maintained weight for the past couple of months by doing hardly any physical activity and eating food by the ton but gain 4lbs changing all of that?  

Since about March, I've been hovering around the 260lbs mark.  It's fluctuated by a couple of pounds one way or the other... but nothing that has stayed.  And then I put in the effort to start this weight loss thing again and gain 4lbs in a week.  

The only thing I can chalk it up to is water retention.  I've noticed that after my walks or yard work or exercise of the day, my ankles and fingers are pretty swollen.  Despite drinking a lot more water than I'm used to, I'm still not probably drinking quite enough.  But that's an even bigger reason to break up with the scale for a few weeks just to see how it goes.

Yesterday, I spent an entire hour whacking away at some very large bushes in my front yard trying to tame them back.  Using sheers for an hour probably doesn't sound like much... but my arms were screaming at me when I took my first break and sweat was pouring from me.  And it wasn't from the heat.  I took a short break, and then went back at it for another half hour or so.  I was totally loving every minute of it.  I had my earphones in and was singing my little heart out while working away.  

Before that, I'd spent about 20 minutes weed eating.  I would have done that WAY longer had the weed eater not been acting like a pain in the rear and kept dying on me.  I finally had to give that up because I was getting too frustrated to keep messing with it.  

Today, I will have plenty of movement.  I've got a house to clean for all the company coming over tomorrow, and I still have some yard work to do.  Of course, I have to go shopping first... nothing like waiting until the day before a holiday to do the grocery shopping.  Let's just hope they still have everything I need at the store.

Alright, time for me to go...

Till next time!

Joanna

a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman

I Didn't Expect to See That On the Scale This Morning...

OK, so I decided that Wednesdays are going to be my weigh in days.  I like Wednesdays because they are in the middle of the week.  No stressing all weekend what the scale will say Monday morning, and giving myself a few days to mentally prepare for any temptation that may head my way with the upcoming weekend.

I will admit.  I was kinda looking forward to standing on the scale this morning.  OK, I haven't jumped back in to total "weight loss mode" with my eating and activity level just yet... but I've been making pretty conscious efforts with what I'm putting in to my mouth and how I'm moving my body each day.  Or so I thought.

This past week, I've been pretty active.  I've spent the majority of my days moving around at school - and even getting pretty darned sweaty in the afternoons playing frisbee golf with my classes.  Saturday I didn't exactly do anything that physical, but sweat my behind off playing some miniature golf.  And Sunday, I spent several hours in the pool...not swimming the whole time, but doing MANY laps.

Even last night when I got home, I threw on my bathing suit and jumped in the pool for at least 10 laps of the pool before I lounged around for a while.  And that's not including the laps I did racing little Jelly.. in which I had to swim pretty slowly, but I was still swimming.

I've also been drinking TONS of water.  OK, maybe not TONS, but way more than I'm used to drinking.

Which is why, I was really shocked this morning when I stood on the scale to see that not only hadn't I lost any weight.. but I've gained 0.2lbs.  I'm now at 260.2lbs.  

I have to admit, it was pretty darned disheartening to see that.  Anytime I've decided to have another go at the weight loss game, I end up losing something the first week.  Even if it's the only week I actually lose anything.  The first week, I can usually count on seeing a little difference - in a good way - that pumps me up to try and beat it the next week...regardless of if I make it full another full week or not.  

As disheartening as it was, I didn't actually have the reaction I thought I would.  I mean, now that I'm sitting here I'm thinking my reaction when I saw that number should have been "Well, screw it!  I eat less and be more active all week and gain weight?  What on earth am I even bothering for?"

But it wasn't.  When I saw that number, my first reaction was "Huh, that was unexpected.  Apparently I haven't done near as good as I thought I did.. and will have to try WAY harder this next week."

That's a good reaction to have, I suppose.

Because Lord knows, I definitely could try WAY harder.

One thing that comes to mind is the fact that I'm now eating breakfast and lunch at school each day.  Despite schools opting for a more healthy approach with the foods that they are serving to children.. at the end of the day, the food isn't really that much healthier.  It may be baked instead of fried, but the actual food is still not good..as in super healthy good.  And teachers are always given way more than they need to eat.  

Of course, this teacher shouldn't be eating more than she needs...and so it's nobody's fault but my own.

So, I guess I'm going to have a little experiment this week.  I'm not ditching the school breakfasts and lunches.  That should be the first thing to do... but meals are provided free of charge during summer school.  As silly and petty as that may sound, I'm not giving up the free meals.  It saves me some money.  And just because food a plenty is offered, doesn't mean that food a plenty I need to eat.  I'm a big girl with a grown up voice.  I can quite easily say "Urm.. can you just give me as much as you are giving the kids, please?"

At the end of the day, while I don't want to jump in to diet plans or programs, I know that I'm not doing what I can or should in term of eating right.  Eating better just isn't good enough.  It does me no good to eat crappy food in smaller amounts or better foods in large amounts.  It's all about portion control and being mindful about what's going in to my pie hole.  Eating a salad is great... but it's no good covered in ranch dressing.  And that's the case with all food.  Just because it's low fat or less calories does me no good if I top if with crap or eat more of it.

As my good friend, Cathy, told me yesterday.  It doesn't matter what I call this blog or how I refer to myself, it's what I write and making sure that I'm motivating myself to do what I need to do.  

If I'm sitting here each day rambling on about what I should be doing rather than actually doing it.. then I'm just wasting my time.

OK, so I don't want to get all crazy with dieting.  But, I also know what I need to do in order to lose weight... and pretending that I'm just "going to take it slow" just won't give me the results I need or want.  

By just skipping dessert every day, I can't expect to shed pounds.  I've also got to make sure the rest of my meals are in line with what I need for fuel - not comfort or convenience.  

So, yeah, I was surprised that I saw a gain this morning... but it's just a reality check that I'm not putting in near enough effort as I need to be.  Getting a little more active isn't going to do me any good.  I need more active, less food.  Period.  In fact, I need more active, more healthy food.  Just cutting down isn't really going to help me achieve much either.

My challenge for myself this next week is to not stand on that scale this time next Wednesday and see a gain.  And to not see that gain because I know that I've done everything I needed to do to prevent that from happening.  It's the first time in the history of my weight loss efforts that I've ever seen a gain my first week starting out.  That's just not good AT ALL.

Here's to a new week.  A new game plan.  And a new commitment that I'm really going to get my head in the game and make this happen!

Till next time!

Joanna

a/k/a Mad, Fat Woman